Lord, where are you?
Where is your river I wanted?
My soul’s throat drinks
Salt tears and clicks shut.
What is the count of days until
I stand before you in the flesh?
Everyone laughs at the holes in my needs
Where my God should be.
But I remember when I walked
With the throng to your house.
We kept faith, kept festival.
We made our songs sails
And your invisible wind
Filled them for all to see.
I say to my soul, sing! Lift aloft.
None of this is what it seems.
But the words don’t work.
At night, there is the silence
And the long longing. My God,
My abysses all meet and merge.
I wanted water, but you were flood.
Your breakers swept stormwise
And I was overthrown.
But even the deep is yours.
Your love still rushes out
On the lines you gave it.
I know the song is real
Because I can even hear it here.
In the dark, there is not much
Space dividing faith and need,
So I slip my prayers in the cracks
Between the times you never showed up,
And the times you lifted me,
And set me home with you
Where the flood never touched.
Why should I mourn
If my adversaries are unconvinced
By a God who would let this happen?
Many things need more than time.
So, sing. Stand again.
Brace yourself. Hope in God.
Pant and praise and wait.
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